There are many types of relationships, intimate, work, family, friends.  All people experience difficulties or stress at particular times within their relationship with others, it’s a normal part of being close to another human being and growing.  It’s not the conflict that is the problem, but the way in which each person attempts to work things out. People often come to see me because of issues they have with a particular relationship. 

Couples counselling forms a significant component of my counselling work.   Often the couple relationship is able to manage the stress so that the issue resolves without requiring outside help, however, sometimes the relationship is unable to solve things on its own and that is when psychotherapy can be invaluable. 

I find Geoffrey Thompson’s view on the couple relationship to be a helpful way of understanding the couple dynamic;

There is no such thing, outside the realms of imagination, as a marriage free from conflict.  Such a relationship is not in the nature of human beings.  In the depths of our minds we never, throughout our lives, succeed in freeing ourselves fully from the hates and resentments that first arose in infancy….These emotional forces are part of the essential dynamics of our personalities, and they operate intensely in marriage….
Psychotherapy with Couples 1993

I see heterosexual, lesbian and gay couples who are experiencing problems in their relationship and require additional support to get things back on track.  Couples come for various reasons and this will affect how long they access therapy.  I have seen couples for brief therapy where there is a specific concern that requires attention while other couples have required longer term psychotherapy.  Sometimes couples come to see me because they are unsure about the future of their relationship and need space to explore things before making a decision.

In my work with couples I view the relationship as my client.  Of course I work with the couple as individuals however my focus is mostly upon the relationship itself. 
I understand many of the negative patterns and problems faced by couples to be connected to past relationships, particularly those from their family of origin. The great thing about working with couples is that I am able to observe and draw attention to particular interactions during the session.  This new awareness often has an illuminating and positive effect upon the relationship and can lead to further understandings about each other.
 
Couples in therapy sometimes make the decision to separate and choose to work together to understand why this has occurred.  This work is extremely important and can prevent the same difficulties and patterns occurring in future relationships.

For more information about relationship counselling go to http://www.dsrc.org.au and http://www.relationships.com.au


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